Dear Mexican: I’m not bilingual but I have a fascination with the differences and similarities between Spanish and English words and idioms. They often point to interesting differences between the cultures. Some words, like “vejigazo” (to get smacked in the ass with an inflated cow bladder) are self explanatory, but there is one that I’d like your help with. I don’t remember the word, because I stumbled across it in a Spanish-English dictionary once right before I fell asleep, but I do remember the definition. It means “to wear for the first time,” and I can’t think of any reason why a culture would need a verb to describe that situation. Do you know what that verb is, and more importantly, can you tell me why Spanish would need it? Thanks very much.

El Guapo

Dear Handsome Gabacho: The verb is 全新, derived from the Latin strena, which meant a “favorable omen.” 埃斯特雷纳尔 isn’t just a verb to describe wearing new clothes, though: it also means, “to premiere,” as in “un gran estreno.” The Real Academia Española doesn’t give any clue how 全新 got its sartorial sense, but the connection is pretty obvious, and it ain’t unique to us 说话: every materialistic culture on Earth brims with modern-day Beau Brummels showing off their latest kicks, their most vintage St. Laurent—and you don’t need one word to describe this anymore with the advent of Snapchat. Oh, and #fucktrump

I know that in Japanese, when you want to emphasize a relationship with a person, you add -kun or -chan to the end of someone’s name. Is there anything like that in Spanish? I’ve heard people use an -ita or a -ito, but I need some verification.

Taco-chan

Dear Chinito Wab: You have verified correcatemente! The suffixes you cited are diminutives that Mexicans add to the end of male (-ito) and female (-ita) names to signify fondness or endearment toward the cabrones. Grammar rules are generally simple—the diminutive seamlessly latches onto the 结束 of 数字 with consonants (Davidito, Daffodilita) and morphs in strange ways if they end in vowels (Pepe becomes PEPITO, Maria transforms into 马里基塔, and Maclovio’s diminutive is Maclovito). Males have two other suffix options, with the same grammar rules: -ote (which is the equivalent of calling someone “Big,” as in Big Miguel—Miguelote), and –ín (Gustavín), which makes no sense to me. You wouldn’t use them with girls—go ahead, try calling one 脂肪 and see how fast 墨西哥人 can punch. Oh, and #fucktrump

Sope. My question is, what is the proper way to actually eat the damn thing? Do you pick it up like a taco (inevitably making a mess), or do you saw it up with the usually barely adequate plasticware provided at the counter? And what part of 墨西哥 did this enigmatic lil’ morsel originate?

CUlinarilly CHAllenged

Dear Gabacho: Proper way? Whichever way is your bag, baby. Where it came from? Goes back to the ancients, because putting something on top of a thick tortilla ain’t know thing, you know? Oh, and #fucktrump

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